Monday, September 11, 2006
Trying times
First, we must observe Patriot Day -- one of the most important remembrances this country has to recall. That day still reverberated through my mind as though the passage of time has been meaningless in the face of such an event. I found myself turning off the news in the wake of the footage last night, and I still want to see the movies about that day, but have not. It isn't a case of not being ready yet; there is no ready. It's merely the inevitable forestalled, and I'm aware of that. And yet, I will search my mind and remember that day today, and hopefully find a path of personal peace in so doing.
Well, on with sports.
So, a funny thing happened on the way to our first fantasy weekend: Lito Sheppard. Or should I say, a funny thing didn't happen whatsofreakin'ever? Yes, if there's one thing the first Sunday of NFL football -- which I affectionately gloss Football Day -- teaches any of us, it's that end-of-training-camp "vogue picks" are about as reliable as a Fox News "report." Of course, we've all fallen prey to the trendy-player hosejob and, much like a White House intern self-respect and/or a penis, they're usually pretty useless to the one that picks them.
Let's see a couple of cases in point:
Lito Sheppard
Oh, I hope for your sake that you weren't in a league that values return yards and has IDPs, because you may have walked right into the Lito Sheppard trap. As reports surfaced last week that the Philadelphia Eagles DB would probably be handling injured RB Reno Mahe's return duties, Sheppard started flying off free agent shelves at an alarming rate as savvy owners sought out the elusive can't-miss point production that defensive returners bring, especially those who are starters -- think Terrence McGee, not Allen Rossum. The result? Not only did Lito not return a lick, he didn't get so much as pass defensed. The only thing he returned was to the waiver wire.
Wali Lundy
Wali Lundy, born on Monday ... played on a Sunday ... dropped on a Tuesday if you could find a suitable replacement after watching the MNF game. After a training camp soap opera which ultimately saw FB (fragile back) Dominick Davis go on IR and rookie Lundy emerge as the starter, not only did this poor schmuck only run for 32 yards in Sunday's opener, his owners risk having his valuable touchdowns end up in the fat clutches of VB (vulture back) Ron Dayne. Yeah, and he's splitting carries with Vernand Morency, too. Yeah, and the Texans still suck. Good luck with all that.
Greg Jennings
I'll put it this way: I'd rather draft a Denver Broncos running back than (insert name of any Green Bay wide receiver not named (insert name of primary Packers wide receiver)). Maybe he'll show his potential when (again, you may perpetually insert the name of Green Bay's primary wideout as long as Brett Favre won't effing retire) inevitably gets injured, but on this Football Day, this guy was no Kevin Curtis. Wait ... what the heck happened to Kevin Curtis?
Of course, it wasn't all bad in TrendyPlayerLand. Vernon Davis owners probably hugged themselves to sleep last night, and Reggie Bush made all those "Rookie Rule"-ignoring owners who picked him in the first round look a little more clever -- especially his boy in that commercial. Hope he didn't take T.J. Hoowshamadinga in round three. "Chump-ionship!"
So, keep your fingers crossed, you drafters of Philip Rivers (as your primary QB); hope springs eternal. Just ignore the training camp hype next year, and your blood pressure will fare much better. Now, to find a fish for Kevan Barlow ...
Well, on with sports.
So, a funny thing happened on the way to our first fantasy weekend: Lito Sheppard. Or should I say, a funny thing didn't happen whatsofreakin'ever? Yes, if there's one thing the first Sunday of NFL football -- which I affectionately gloss Football Day -- teaches any of us, it's that end-of-training-camp "vogue picks" are about as reliable as a Fox News "report." Of course, we've all fallen prey to the trendy-player hosejob and, much like a White House intern self-respect and/or a penis, they're usually pretty useless to the one that picks them.
Let's see a couple of cases in point:
Lito Sheppard
Oh, I hope for your sake that you weren't in a league that values return yards and has IDPs, because you may have walked right into the Lito Sheppard trap. As reports surfaced last week that the Philadelphia Eagles DB would probably be handling injured RB Reno Mahe's return duties, Sheppard started flying off free agent shelves at an alarming rate as savvy owners sought out the elusive can't-miss point production that defensive returners bring, especially those who are starters -- think Terrence McGee, not Allen Rossum. The result? Not only did Lito not return a lick, he didn't get so much as pass defensed. The only thing he returned was to the waiver wire.
Wali Lundy
Wali Lundy, born on Monday ... played on a Sunday ... dropped on a Tuesday if you could find a suitable replacement after watching the MNF game. After a training camp soap opera which ultimately saw FB (fragile back) Dominick Davis go on IR and rookie Lundy emerge as the starter, not only did this poor schmuck only run for 32 yards in Sunday's opener, his owners risk having his valuable touchdowns end up in the fat clutches of VB (vulture back) Ron Dayne. Yeah, and he's splitting carries with Vernand Morency, too. Yeah, and the Texans still suck. Good luck with all that.
Greg Jennings
I'll put it this way: I'd rather draft a Denver Broncos running back than (insert name of any Green Bay wide receiver not named (insert name of primary Packers wide receiver)). Maybe he'll show his potential when (again, you may perpetually insert the name of Green Bay's primary wideout as long as Brett Favre won't effing retire) inevitably gets injured, but on this Football Day, this guy was no Kevin Curtis. Wait ... what the heck happened to Kevin Curtis?
Of course, it wasn't all bad in TrendyPlayerLand. Vernon Davis owners probably hugged themselves to sleep last night, and Reggie Bush made all those "Rookie Rule"-ignoring owners who picked him in the first round look a little more clever -- especially his boy in that commercial. Hope he didn't take T.J. Hoowshamadinga in round three. "Chump-ionship!"
So, keep your fingers crossed, you drafters of Philip Rivers (as your primary QB); hope springs eternal. Just ignore the training camp hype next year, and your blood pressure will fare much better. Now, to find a fish for Kevan Barlow ...
